I haven't posted as much as I normally do this past week. I have been in a funk and I don't think I actually figured out what it was until today. I have been grieving this week. Yes, I have...not Kai.
This is something that is very personal, very real, and can be misunderstood. Do NOT misunderstand....I have no regrets. I am so thankful for the opportunity we have to have Kai in our family. However, when things have been difficult this week, I find myself grieving the life I had before and what once was. I imagine how easy my life would be with just my three bio kids at home this year with my oldest off at school. They know their boundaries, limitations, and expectations. With Kai, he is learning these things and that can be tough on both of us.
With trials and difficulties comes growth. I am going to be a stronger woman because of this. I am going to be a better mother. I am going to be more compassionate. I am going to be more Christlike. I am going to be more patient. I am going to be more of many things. I have Kai to thank for this.
I am growing...in miraculous ways.
Kai has a new behavior that has developed that we are dealing with. In an effort to understand, I talked with our social worker today and she gave me some ideas so he is able to verbalize himself. I sat Kai down with pictures of himself in the orphanage and just started asking questions about how he felt about things there. It was good to see him very forth coming with information and willing to share. I hope, in the future, when he is upset, we can have similar discussions about his feelings. It was actually fun to sit down and chat and learn things from him.
Church was canceled today due to snowy weather. I will post pictures later of our kids playing in the snow. In the meantime, I'm just going to keep growing!
