Why me? Why was I chosen to be Kai's mother? Those are the two questions being thrown around in my head this morning. A little insight into me...the shower is a big thinking place for me as are the following 30 minutes it takes me to get dressed, do my hair, and makeup. I think. I imagine. I have imaginary conversations in my head about things that I am worried about. It helps prepare me when situations do arise. This morning, it was these questions.
Why was I chosen to be Kai's mother? Why? Why me? Short questions with long answers. Someone once asked me WHY ME? when they were going through a tough time in their own life. My answer? WHY NOT YOU? You have what it takes.
I was reminded of this conversation (in my head while in the shower) and it gave me the answer. I may not REALLY have what it takes right now but I am developing it. I have been shaped, stretched, and molded this year to be a better person, to be a better wife, to be a better mother. So WHY ME? Because I was capable and needed improving...and Kai has improved me.
We each have struggles. All troubles, regardless of what they are, feel big when we are in the mist of them. So, why you? Because you are capable and you have something to learn. I have learned that humbling myself, getting on my knees, and asking for help not only from our Father in Heaven but from other resources, has been key. I don't know everything. It's okay to ask for help and guidance from others. Strength lies in admitting weakness.
