SHOWER HELP, BIKES, AND COWS

Everyday when I wake up, I wonder what kind of resistance I am going to meet that day. I was out of the shower this morning in getting ready for church when I asked Hubby K to go wake up all the kids. He does so and comes back to tell me that Kai is refusing to get in the shower. GREAT....JUST GREAT! Hubby K tries his magic and it's not working. I got back there and Kai is acting totally asleep. I talk to him softly but firmly and tell him he needs to get ready for church. No response. CRAP.

I continue getting myself ready and then start heading back toward his bedroom where I hear him and Hubby K talking. Kai is still refusing to go. Hubby K is starting to get frustrated...with our other kids, priviledges would start getting revoked but that doesn't work with a traumatized child. I go in to Kai's room and sit next to him. I start rubbing his arm gently and ask him why he isn't getting ready. Then I start hearing, "Kai no smart. Kai no read or write english." I am thinking to myself that I don't have time for this. The last self hate talk meltdown lasted three hours.

I try to stay light hearted and think to myself what I would say to a five year old because that's about where he sits emotionally. I look around the room exaggeratingly and say, "I don't see anyone not smart. I see Ma and Ma is really smart. I see Little C and he is really smart. I see Kai and Kai is really smart." He continues to say that he isn't. I then asked him what being smart had to do with taking a shower. I jokingly said, "Kai, do you know how to start the shower? I know you are smart and know how to start the shower."

He is still refusing to take a shower. I then need a different tactic. I switched gears. I firmly but still in a laughing manner tell Kai that if he needs my help, I can help him get in the shower. I told him he had two minutes and I would come back. If he wasn't in the shower yet then that told me he needed my help and I would help him take off his shirt and pants to get in the shower. It worked. He had a mortified grin on his face, jumps up and gets in the shower before I even have a chance to stand. Yep, that's what I would have told my five year old.

This told me something else. This told me that he really believes that I will do what I say I will...and he is correct. I do what I say I'm going to say. It showed me that he is beginning to understand boundaries and that he trusts me.

During church, Hubby K started rubbing my back and Kai joined him. He himself does NOT like to be tickled but he liked rubbing my back and I love it! Hubby K remarked after church to me that Kai really likes me. He told me he could tell by Kai wanted to rub my back and not shutting up during church. He was constantly wanting to talk to me. That made me feel good.

Yesterday, Hubby K bought two mountain bikes. We have tried to get Kai interested in riding a bike in the past but he has said, "No, only one hand." He went with Hubby K to the bike shop and came home with a desire to learn. We got him on one of the bikes and he was ready pretty early to stop because it was hard. He wants to be good at things right away without the work. We took him to Wal-mart later that day to get his own bike that fit properly. Now is the quest to find some training wheels that fit a big bike for a little while. He has horrible balance NOT on a bike so balancing on the bike is going to be tricky.

 Little C had his last basketball game yesterday. They were behind by 10 in the last quarter and came back to tie and go into overtime where he won by 2. You would have thought it was a championship game...holy cow.

Speaking of cows, we went cow shopping afterward. It's time to get some more grazers in our pasture. The kids had a blast looking at all the animals on this couples' little farm. Kai's favorite animal was the "fat chicken."